"O my friends, have ye seen or have ye heard
Of his visit whose virtues I hold so high?"
Quoth the King, "We will not cross thee in this." So she appointed him
for the same time as the three others, and told him where her house
was.
Then she left him, and betaking herself to man which was a
carpenter, said to him: "I would have thee make me a cabinet with four
compartments one above other, each with its door for locking up. Let
me know thy hire and I will give it thee." Replied he: "My price
will be four dinars. But, O noble lady and well-protected, if thou
wilt vouchsafe me thy favors, I will ask nothing of thee. Rejoined
she, "An there be no help but that thou have it so, then make thou
five compartments with their padlocks." And she appointed him to bring
it exactly on the day required. Said he, "It is well. Sit down, O my
lady, and I will make it for thee forthright, and after I will come to
thee at my leisure." So she sat down by him whilst he fell to work
on the cabinet, and when he had made an end of it, she chose to see it
at once carried home and set up in the sitting chamber. Then she
took four gowns and carried them to the dyer, who dyed them each of
a different color, after which she applied herself to making ready
meat and drink, fruits, flowers, and perfumes.
Now when the appointed trysting day came, she donned her costliest
dress and adorned herself and scented herself, then spread the
sitting room with various kinds of rich carpets, and sat down to await
who should come. And behold, the Kazi was the first to appear,
devancing rest, and when she saw him, she rose to her feet and
kissed the ground before him, then, taking him by the hand, made him
sit down by her on the couch and lay with him and fell to jesting
and toying with him. By and by he would have her do his desire, but
she said, "O my lord, doff thy clothes and turban and assume this
yellow cassock and this headkerchief, whilst I bring thee meat and
drink, and after thou shalt win thy will." So saying, she took his
clothes and turban and clad him in the cassock and the kerchief. But
hardly she done this when lo! there came a knocking at the door. Asked
he, "Who is that rapping at the door?" and she answered, "My husband."
Quoth the Kazi, "What is to be done, and where shall I go?" Quoth she,
"Fear nothing. I will hide thee in this cabinet," and he, "Do as
seemeth good to thee."
So she took him by the hand and pushing him into the lowest
compartment, locked the door upon him. Then she went to the house
door, where she found the Wali, so she bussed ground before him and
taking his hand, brought him into the saloon, where, she made him
sit down and said to him: "O my lord, this house is thy house, this
place is thy place, and I am thy handmaid. Thou shalt pass all this
day with me, wherefore do thou doff thy clothes and don this red gown,
for it is a sleeping gown." So she took away his clothes and made
him assume the red gown and set on his head an old patched rag she had
by her. After which she sat by him on the divan and she sported with
him while he toyed with her awhile, till he put out his hand to her.
Whereupon she said to him: "O our lord, this day is thy day and none
shall share in it with thee. But first, of thy favor and
benevolence, write me an order for my brother's release from gaol,
that my heart may be at ease." Quoth he, "Hearkening and obedience. On
my head and eyes be it!" and wrote a letter to his treasurer,
saying: "As soon as this communication shall reach thee, do thou set
Such-a-one, free, without stay or delay, neither answer the bearer a
word." Then he sealed it and she took it from him, after which she
began to toy again with him on the divan when, behold, someone knocked
at the door. He asked, "Who is that?" and she answered, "My
husband." "What shall I do?" said he, and she, "Enter this cabinet,
till I send him away and return to thee." So she clapped him into
the second compartment from the bottom and padlocked the door on
him, and meanwhile the Kazi heard all they said.
Then she went to the house door and opened it, whereupon lo! the
Wazir entered. She bussed the ground before him and received him
with all honor and worship, saying: "O my lord, thou exaltest us by
thy coming to our house. Allah never deprive us of the light of thy
countenance!" Then she seated him on the divan and said to him, "O
my lord, doff thy heavy dress and turban and don these lighter
vestments." So he put off his clothes and turban and she clad him in a
blue cassock and a tall red bonnet, and said to him: "Erst thy garb
was that of the wazirate, so leave it to its own time and don this
light gown, which is better fitted for carousing and making merry
and sleep." Thereupon she began to play with him and he with her,
and he would have done his desire of her, but she put him off, saying,
"O my lord, this shall not fail us." As they were talking there came a
knocking at the door, and the Wazir asked her, "Who is that?" to which
she answered, "My husband." Quoth he, "What is to be done?" Qhoth she,
"Enter this cabinet, till I get rid of him and come back to thee,
and fear thou nothing."
So she put him in the third compartment and locked the door on after
which she went out and opened the house door when lo and behold! in
came the King. As soon as she saw him she kissed ground before him,
and taking him by the hand, led him into the saloon and seated him
on the divan at the upper end. Then said she to him, "Verily, O
King, thou dost us high honor, and if we brought thee to gift the
world and all that therein is, it would not be worth a single one of
thy steps usward." And when he had taken his seat upon the divan she
said, "Give me leave to speak one word." "Say what thou wilt."
answered he, and she said, "O my lord, take thine ease and doff thy
dress and turban." Now his clothes were worth a thousand dinars, and
when he put them off she clad him in a patched gown, worth at the very
most ten dirhams, and fell to talking and jesting with him, all this
while the folk in the cabinet hearing everything that passed, but
not daring to say a word. Presently the King put his hand to her
neck and sought to do his design of her, when she said, "This thing
shall not fail us, but I had first promised myself to entertain thee
in this sitting chamber, and I have that which shall content thee."
Now as they were speaking, someone knocked at the door and he asked
her, "Who is that?" "My husband," answered she, and he, "Make him go
away of his own goodwill, or I will fare forth to him and send him
away perforce." Replied she, "Nay, O my lord, have patience till I
send him away by my skillful contrivance." "And I, how shall I do!"
inquired the King. Whereupon she took him by the hand and making him
enter the fourth compartment of the cabinet, locked it upon him.
Then she went out and opened the house door, when behold, the
carpenter entered and saluted her. Quoth she, "What manner of thing is
this cabinet thou hast made me?" "What aileth it, O my lady?" asked
he, and she answered, "The top compartment is too strait." Rejoined
he, "Not so," and she, "Go in thyself and see. It is not wide enough
for thee." Quoth he, "It is wide enough for four." and entered the
fifth compartment, whereupon she locked the door on him. Then she took
the letter of the Chief of Police and carried it to the Treasurer,
who, having read and understood it, kissed it and delivered her
lover to her. She told him all she had done and he said, "And how
shall we act now?" She answered, "We will remove hence to another
city, for after this work there is no tarrying for us here."
So the twain packed up what goods they had and, loading them on
camels, set out forthright for another city. Meanwhile, the five abode
each in his compartment of the cabinet without eating or drinking
three whole days, during which time they held their water until at
last the carpenter could retain his no longer, so he staled on the
King's head, and the King urined on the Wazir's head, and the Wazir
piddled on the Wall, and the Wali pissed on the head of the Kazi.
Whereupon the Judge cried out and said: "What nastiness is this?
Doth not what strait we are in suffice us, but you must make water
upon us?" The Chief of Police recognized the Kazi's voice and
answered, saying aloud, "Allah increase thy reward, O Kazi!" And
when the Kazi heard him he knew him for the Wali. Then the Chief of
Police lifted up his voice and said, "What means this nastiness?"
and the Wazir answered, saying, "Allah increase thy reward, O Wali!"
whereupon he knew him to be the Minister. Then the Wazir lifted up his
voice and said, "What means this nastiness?" But when the King heard
and recognized his Minister's voice, he held his peace and concealed
his affair.
Then said the Wazir: "May Allah damn this woman for her dealing with
us! She hath brought hither all the chief officers of the state,
except the King. Quoth the King, "Hold your peace, for I was the first
to fall into the toils of this lewd strumpet." Whereat cried the
carpenter: "And I, what have I done? I made her a cabinet for four
gold pieces, and when I came to seek my hire, she tricked me into
entering this compartment and locked the door on me." And they fell to
talking with one another, diverting the King and doing away his
chagrin. Presently the neighbors came up to the house and, seeing it
deserted, said one to other: "But yesterday our neighbor, the wife
of Such-a-one, was in it, but now no sound is to be heard therein
nor is soul to be seen. Let us break open the doors and see how the
case stands, lest it come to the ears of the Wali or the King and we
be cast into prison and regret not doing this thing before."
So they broke open the doors and entered the saloon, where they
saw a large wooden cabinet and heard men within groaning for hunger
and thirst. Then said one of them, "Is there a Jinni in this
cabinet?-and his fellow, "Let us heap fuel about it and burn it with
fire." When the Kazi heard this, he bawled out to them, "Do it not!"
And they said to one another, " Verily the Jinn make believe to be
mortals and speak with men's voices." Thereupon the Kazi repeated
somewhat of the Sublime Koran and said to the neighbors, "Draw near to
the cabinet wherein we are." So they drew near, and he said, "I am
So-and-so the Kazi, and ye are Such-a-one and Such-a-one, and we are
here a company." Quoth the neighbors, "Who brought you here?" And he
told them the whole case from beginning to end. Then they fetched a
carpenter, who opened the five doors and let out Kazi, Wazir, Wali,
King, and carpenter in their queer disguises; and each, when he saw
how the others were accoutered, fell a-laughing at them. Now she had
taken away all their clothes, so every one of them sent to his
people for fresh clothes and put them on and went out, covering
himself therewith from the sight of the folk. Consider, therefore,
what a trick this woman played off upon the folk!
And I have heard tell also a tale of
Khalifah The Fisherman Of Baghdad.