From: bcapps@teleport.com (boy brent)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.bodyart
Subject: Re: prince albert
Date: 23 Dec 1994 20:00:35 MET
Organization: Teleport - Portland's Public Access (503) 220-1016

In <9412230000462003@nfe.com> kevin.mccraw@nfe.com (Kevin Mccraw) writes:

:WOULD ANYONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT A PRINCE ALBERT IS?  I HAVE BEEN
:HEARING A LOT ABOUT THEM LATELY.  WHERE CAN I GET ONE?

i'm glad you brought this up; it's a serious problem, this is, it just
takes too much time for a piercer to perform a prince albert.  With this
in mind, i have decided to perform a Valuable Social Service and do
something about this by adopting assembly line methods for this most
popular men's piercing.

In my garage workshop i have perfected a machine that will automatically
perform a prince albert piercing while you wait.  All i had to do was
purchase a used sewing machine and wire it up to my home computer, and
voila!  i plan to distribute them nationwide in convenient locations
so that you will never again ask where you can get a prince albert.
(i'm in the midst of negotiations with Piggly Wiggly supermarkets to
locate the machine between the coin operated kiddy rides and the
rental carpet shampooers).

The theory of operation is quite simple.  You just step into the
privacy booth (i'm using old coin operated photo booths to house the 
machinery), deposit your wee-wee in the hole, and drop a quarter into
the slot.  The machine does the rest.

Of course, there *are* a few minor technical difficulties to work out
yet.  You see, i bought these sewing machines from a wholesale vendor
who normally sells them to carnivals, where they are used to sew
children's first names onto cheap felt cowboy hats and the like, and
every so often instead of performing the prince albert it will monogram
your dick instead.  But i should have that fixed any day now.

Oh, and one more thing.  Happy holidays to everyone on r.a.b.!
-- 
boy brent                       | Having a prince albert
bcapps@teleport.com (gay stuff) | means never having to 
bcapps@atlas.com                | lose your car keys again